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Friday, April 26, 2013

40 Year Search

A few weeks ago, I ended a 40 year search. Basically the search was for my biological father. I found out that he passed away in 2008. That left me with the 2 brothers that I've also known about for the past 40 or more years.

It was a difficult search. All I knew about my birth father was the 1st name of his second wife. "Pam". After a blinding search of names on #FamilySearch.com, I finally found her! Her last name was Martin. I then did a search of her for anything I could ..... find. I found her obituary and with it, the name of the 2 brothers that I have always dreamed and thought of!!!! Douglas & Martin. Their names and middle names comfirmed that these were indeed my brothers! I knew from family research that their names were from the line of people my birth father identified with. There was the reference to their mother's name and my birth father's step father's name. Confused? I'm not...I get it. My 2 brothers were born to a woman named Pamela Martin. My birth father's step father was named, Ervin. The eldest of my 1/2 brother was named, Douglas Ervin, the younger 1/2 brother was named, Martin Sterling. Can you see the connection??? I certainly did. When I emailed, Doug about this, he confirmed we are all siblings! I can't begin to explain the elation I felt!

Although my birth father has long passed away, they seem to have the same feelings I have towards him...Contempt! Even tho he was in & out of their lives, he wasn't much of a father to them either. At least they knew him. I did not. Is it bad for me to rejoice in knowing that they did not hold him in high regard? I know it was just bitterness on my part, but I am glad to know they felt almost the same way I did.

In the long run, I had a much better father....Fred Keith. Although I never called him dad to his face, I do refer to him as my father! To my daughter, Melissa...He is the only grandfather she has known!! We call him, Granpa. Granpa his been both father to me and father/grandfather to Melissa. He's always been there for us and has never let us down!!!